Most of us men have grown up with the notion that a good woman knows how to take care of you, makes you feel good and knows how to meet your ‘needs’.
Needs are usually defined in terms of domestic capabilities, she can cook, clean, take care of kids, doesn’t nag much and possibly very good in “the oza room”. I mean, what else does a man need?
We have heard that a man only needs good food and good sex…they say once you can do these, a man doesn’t need so much more… Many ladies have told me this and a side of me wonders how that has become the totality of man, yet no matter how much they perform on this level, their men still cheat.
There are many reasons a man cheats, and there is no excuse why it must be accepted as norm, however, I have found that men are often misunderstood in relationships mostly by themselves, therefore we often do not know what we must look for in the woman that must satisfy us inside out, such that cheating may be a thought, but hardly ever an action. I believe that one of the reasons a man cheats, albeit a major is a lack of understanding of who he is and why he does what he does.
Man is a living soul:
The Soul is separated into 3 distinct areas:
– The Will: Where his values reside, what he considers right or wrong, morality, decision processing sphere, often long-term, hardly changes, the side that latently controls all actions
– The Intellect: Where he thinks, have preferences, natural inclinations and attractions, often midterm, could change if he sees or is influenced better
– The Emotions: Where he feels, senses, desires, often temporary, short-term, happens often and changes rapidly, nothing is fixed here
From the above, you can already see that the issues of a man’s sensuality are on the shortest term, duration and changes mostly with moments, that’s why he eats a meal now and prefers omething else next time, has sex now and wants another soon after and then moment you’re a woman is fixated on satisfying these…she’s like the cocaine that sets you high on a fix, the moment you run low, you want more…in this case anyone can offer this fix.
The often neglected are the Will and Intellect, because we focus on the emotions that seem to happen more often and seem less active, but we all know that when you pour Coca-Cola into a glass and it foams, no matter how much you lap up the foam, the drink is the real deal.
A lot of men are not self aware many of us have never studied ourselves as much as we have our jobs, we do not know our prefences and what makes us tick, so the moment we meet a woman who can cook clean and clinch we believe we have found a soulmate, just because she looks presentable to ‘mama’, forgetting that it’s not mama that will live with that human being.
A wife is like a friend you are allowed to sleep with, on most levels you click on decisions, preferences and interests, you don’t agree on everything but you still work around he edges and move ahead with your lives while you remain independent individuals with interdependent pursuit in life.
So…for a woman to satisfy her husband, she must be satisfying all three areas to the highest level as she can…same thing for the man.
However, the moment we pick one that satisfies the emotional basic level, we get used to that and then when we run low on the will and intelligence levels, she’s not suitable to fix those two, so we spend more time with colleagues, friends, and the secretary who seems to “get it” when we talk, eventually the emotions kick in and then we wonder…’how come those clothes came off so fast’ or just the zipper. Often times, when the other two are well taken care of, chances are that the last one is more effectively managed and worked on.
We have a responsibility to know ourselves …then we can have a wholesome perspective on which partners to choose, because marriage is a long-term longtin.
What do you think? Leave comments please.